He/She/They/Ze

Reading Robin Dembroff and Daniel Wodak's piece, He/She/They/Ze, was quite eye-opening for me. After reading and processing their piece, I believe that I actually noticed a difference in my ideas on gender and personal pronouns before and after reading their piece. Before reading this piece, I can honestly say that I did not consider the level of hurt that one can cause by using the wrong gender pronoun for someone. And as much as it hurts me to admit now, I sometimes did not even feel comfortable sharing my own personal pronouns at times. This may be because growing up, I was strictly taught many of my beliefs from a community that practiced "exclusivity": my church. As Dembroff and Wodak point out, I was taught that "each person is either (exclusively) a man or (exclusively) a woman" (380). In fact, before reading this piece, I did not even fully understand what it meant for someone to be genderqueer. However, I believe that Dembroff and Wodak's piece really allowed my mind to expand and be open to accepting new ideas and being part of a more inclusive community. 

My goal for reading Dembroff and Wodak's piece was to be as open-minded and understanding as possible. With that in mind when reading their piece, my initial reaction to their Moderate Claim was quite along those lines. I honestly believe that I was able to have an appropriate reaction because I had been previously well trained by Siena faculty and the Siena community to understand the general importance of using the correct gender pronouns to refer to each individual. Therefore, my initial reaction was to be quite understanding of their claim and to acknowledge that it really IS my duty to "not to use binary gender-specific pronouns (he or she) to refer to genderqueer individuals like Angel Haze" (372). I understand that many people in our modern society choose to identify themselves differently from their birth sex and in order to respect every person, it is best to ask what each individual would prefer to be called. To put this scenario in perspective, I find it helpful to compare asking a person about their preferred gender pronoun to asking if a person prefers to be called by their legal name or by a nickname. Each individual has that choice of name and so they should have a choice of pronoun. 

Interestingly, my reaction to Dembroff and Wodak's Radical Claim was not quite as understanding as my reaction to their Moderate Claim at first. I believe my reaction stemmed mostly from the confusion I faced when I thought about eliminating gender pronouns in general. I strongly believe that their Radical Claim, that "we have a duty not to use gender-specific pronouns to refer to anyone, regardless of their gender identity" (372), would initially shock many people. However, after processing and actively wanting to understand their claim, I do believe that many people would learn how to be more understanding, just like I did. 

Ultimately, what helped me fully understand their Radical Claim was Elvin Pedersen-Nielsen's TEDx Talk on Educating Kids About Gender Norms. I found it quite moving that more people than we realize identify themselves differently than their birth sex or have chosen a sexual orientation other than straight; but, because of fear of criticism, they do not feel comfortable sharing that identity with the world or even with their community. This made me feel quite saddened by our modern society which often tries to emphasize the inclusion of everyone. After learning of this, I believe that I was finally ready and able to open my mind to understanding why Dembroff and Wodak would want to get rid of gender-pronouns in general. 

Personally, while I do understand their Radical Claim, I still do not believe that we should get rid of all gender-pronouns. This is not necessarily because of tradition nor the idea that many conservative people would react negatively to this idea, but because many other people in society could also react negatively. Dembroff and Wodak mention this idea, but I found the idea that many transgender people would take this to heart to be quite powerful. A person that is transgender was brave enough to choose to identify themselves differently than their birth sex and thus deserves our respect when it comes to calling them what they would like to be called. A transgender woman deserves our respect in calling her, "she," and a transgender male deserves our respect in calling him, "he." Therefore, I believe that I am ultimately behind calling other people exactly what they would prefer to be called. This could be HE, SHE, THEY, or ZE. While I understand that problems can still arise with this method such as shyness and criticism, the conversation begins now. And the more we talk about inclusivity for everyone, the more inclusive we will actually become.